Midlife Shake-up: Strategies for Reclaiming True Self with Jenny Calcoen

Ever wonder what is could be like to stand in your power, never negotiate your values, and create a life of complete self-awareness?

In this episode, we delve deep into the transformative journey of midlife with Jenny Calcoen, CEO and founder of Inner Earthquake. 

Jenny believes that you can only go so long and so far by white-knuckling your way through life without doing the inner work. She is a recovering perfectionist who values and teaches radical honesty and integrity with self first and
foremost. After a 26-year corporate career in senior leadership, Jenny now mentors, coaches, and teaches women to step into a bigger version of themselves.

Jenny shares her insights on the concept of an 'inner earthquake' and how it represents major life transitions and identity crises faced by women, especially during menopause. 

Discover Jenny's methods for helping women reconnect with their inner essence, embody a magnetic presence, and navigate life changes with mindfulness and integrity. Plus, learn about her own personal story of overcoming significant life challenges and how it shapes her approach to coaching. 


Resources:

• Learn more about Jenny's business, Inner Earthquake on her website
• Connect with Jenny on LinkedIn
• Jenny's recommended read the New Menopause by Mary Claire Haver (not an affiliate link)

Transcript

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Jenny Calcoen 0:00

We are wise women. We've lived like 40, 50 years, 60 years. We know stuff and we stand in our power and we're not going to negotiate that with anyone anymore. And I just see it as my job to get my clients back to that point where they see themselves. Where they reconnect with that essence of themselves within. Because we already have everything we need.

Mary Lee 0:34

Oh my goodness. Jenny Calcoen and I, we, well, I had to take a lot to notes We talked about. What is an earthquake in a woman's midlife You don't want to miss that. We talked about. losing sight of who we are. And a coach like Jenny brings you back to your inner knowing. some of her gems that she shares. And I don't want to give it all away in this intro, but. Never negotiate your values. she says that is our pure essence. We unpack the role of magnetic presence, which is part of cultivating self-awareness. This is such a good episode. I can't wait for you to listen. But you know what, before we get started, here's a few things you should know about Jenny Calcoen. She is the CEO and the founder of inner earthquake. What is inner earthquake? She's going to tell you what that is. She believes that white knuckling it. Is not the only way to go. The best way to go through life is having radical honesty. And integrity with self first and foremost. She had a 26 year corporate career. And senior leadership, but now she mentors coaches and teaches women to step into bigger versions of themselves. Hmm, sounding familiar to me. Now she doesn't always wear a white Cape, she should. But she does have some amazing superpowers, a couple of them being deep listening and. Complete presence, which she teaches her clients And she guides them into a dedicated space where her clients can experiment, explore, and experience what it means to have a vibrant life. Jenny's Transformative coaching approach helps women to have a different relationship with themselves. no matter what happens to them in life. She has seen it all. She will unpack that. Plus what her favorite book is, which is so Appropriate to the menopause journey. Where can you find Jenny, her website is jennycalcoen.Com. in that spelled C a L C O E N. on the LinkedIn as Jenny hyphen, Calcoen. Stay tuned. You're going to love this episode. I know I did. I was smiling from ear to ear. Jenny. Welcome. I'm so glad you're on all things menopausal. I think the story that you're going to tell will be very apropos for women as they unpack some of their midlife traumas, if you will, or things that have come up that we just need to deal with. And I love that your business is called Inner Earthquake. If that doesn't cause a shakeup right there, so first Welcome on all things menopausal. Yeah.

Jenny Calcoen 3:20

Thank you. Thank you for having me. And tell us all about the namesake. Where did you come up with that dynamic name? I love it. Yeah. It came from trying to describe what my clients were going through. And I realized, these These clients of mine are going through, serious events, traumatic events, major events in their lives. And that might be caused by going through a divorce or job changes or physical changes, right? Menopause or empty nest. And I was trying to describe all of that. And then I thought actually, it doesn't really matter what causes it. It's what it all causes the same thing on the inside. And what I call it was an inner earthquake. And I'm not saying that I came up with that term, but that was the term that came to me and Every time I mention it, I would say 90 percent of women I speak to go, Oh yes. I know exactly what that is. Or I have gone through it or someone I know knows it. And it's usually only men who ask me to explain what an inner earthquake is. So it definitely seems to be meaningful to women in midlife. So yeah,

Speaker 4:33

absolutely. I've been working with a few clients on my own or just talking to some like Colleagues, and it is, it's like this disruption, our bodies are betraying us, and there's this inner fire, and it's not just hot flashes, but this inner eruption, if you will, and I find it's an opportunity to step into something greater. But getting there takes a coach, it takes a guide, and this is your area of expertise. But before we go there, tell us how you arrived at where you're at. This is always our journey, our pain points that help us understand the transformation that the people we want to work with

Jenny Calcoen 5:12

need. Yeah. Of course I have gone through my own earthquakes in my own inner earthquakes. large and small. And I would say that inner earthquakes are really identity crisis, right? That's really what is going on. It's who am I, if I am no longer fill in the blank, right? It's a role. If I'm no longer a wife, if I'm no longer a stay at home mom to a child, who's at home or, in, in our case, when perimenopause and menopause, who am I, if I'm not no longer this. This fertile woman in my early twenties. My journey is probably not very different from anyone else's. My first inner earthquake or my first substantial earthquake inner earthquake is I would say was in my twenties when I was diagnosed at age 28 with cervical cancer. And the question I asked myself at the time was before we knew what the treatment, if the treatment was going to be effective. The question I asked myself was if this, if these are like the, say the last six months or the last years, The last year that I have to live, is this the life that I want to live? And the answer was a resounding no. So I announced to my husband at the time that I wanted a divorce and within a year, I got a divorce. I got healthy. I changed jobs. I moved countries and I started dating my now husband of 22 years. So I don't recommend that as a path to anyone, but that's what happened for me. So that is certainly That certainly shook me up and woke me up to who am I actually? And I felt that I was living someone else's life or someone else's expectations of me. And the question became, what is it that I want and who am I and how do I choose to be? To live my life. And I've been asking that question ever since, and it's led me on many different journeys, including leaving behind the corporate world after 26 years and owning my own business and moving continents to to now live in the California, hopefully sunshine soon. Yeah, so that's in a nutshell that's being part of my journey.

Mary Lee 7:52

So that's quite the journey and I appreciate that you shared that. And when we go through that walk where it involves a dis ease, I'm sure you've heard it before too, that there is a dis ease in the body. Something is not moving, something doesn't feel right, and it can manifest, unfortunately, into something physical like an illness. And, yeah. Helps us, this disruption helps us open our eyes and choose paths and not to go back and replay your diagnosis in that journey, that illness. But oftentimes, would you equate, we've heard this, but would you equate the root cause of your unease from the fact that you were just in the wrong place, be it marriage, your vocation or even your location of where you were living.

Jenny Calcoen 8:46

I was just not in my chosen life. I didn't realize that there, that I had a choice. I felt I left home when I was 18 years old under, not ideal circumstances. And I just did what I thought everybody around me seemed to be doing. It's you start working and you meet someone and so you get married. And so I was doing the career thing and there was nothing particularly wrong with my life. There was nothing wrong with my husband. He was a kind and gentle person. It was just not the life that I had chosen for myself. And so I would wake up a lot and think is this it? And in your twenties, I really don't think you're meant to ask, is this it in your life? And I didn't really do anything about it. Cause I, I didn't know what to do about it. I remember even Even buying a book, and I think the title was, Is This It? And I was convinced, aha, this is it. I'm going to find the answer to my question in this book. And of course, that wasn't true. And it wasn't until this ease manifested in an, in a physical illness that it felt like all the fog cleared. And I was incredibly clear, 100 percent crystal clear, and I felt it and I knew it in my body. This is not what I want. If this is, the last six months of my life, this is not what I want. So I think, I don't know if that's the same for other people, but that was my journey.

Speaker 10:28

Unbelievable. Obviously, then, when you went through this transition, it drew you to work in that field with women in the midlife in particular. What are some of the common challenges you're seeing now with those, with your clients in their midlife transition? That is, for lack of a better word, and probably the most appropriate word, has them stuck

Jenny Calcoen 10:49

yeah, what I see most of all is the research tells us that by the time we reach midlife, we've gone through on average five of these major transformational events in our lives. And when I say that to women, I very often get the response, Oh, I've been through more than five. And that's life, right? Life throws us curveballs from time to time. There's nothing we can change about our external circumstances. But what we are taught, generally, as women, is we can't lose control. Very often, our family, our immediate family, sometimes our extended family depends on us for all sorts of things, right? We are the ones that keep things going. And so what we are taught and what we internalize is I've just got to suck it up. I've got a wide knuckle through it. I've got to power my way through it. All these. Strong words that indicate no, we're not taking a break here. We're not listening to ourselves. We just have to keep going. And what happens is that's just not sustainable. It's not healthy and it's not sustainable with all the consequences that follow. There might just be. One thing that to one person might seem like a tiny little thing, and it becomes like the drop in the bucket that, is just the final thing where we just feel like, I don't even know what I'm doing. I don't know that these are things that my actual clients say, I don't know who I am. I don't know what I like. I don't even know what I like to eat or what my favorite color is. I don't know that I didn't know that I could feel like the rug was pulled out from under me. So these are things that, that my client's experience. These are the things that they literally say I don't know where I go from here. I don't see the future. I don't know what I, what can happen from here because I don't know how I would change anything. And that's I think that's more than stuck, right? That's an extreme discomfort. And yet, that. Somehow you need to get through that to get to the other side, but you just have no idea how to do it or where to go. Absolutely.

Speaker 13:18

And so your step process and the holistic approach you take to it, tell us a little bit about that and how you arrived at determining that a more holistic lifestyle was indeed the most effective for your clients.

Jenny Calcoen 13:34

I personally believe that who we be is first and all action comes from who we be. But we live in a society that says it's the other way around. It's, you only have value when you show certain things on the outside like it's a successful job, it's a successful career, it's the house you live in, the car you drive, where your kids go to school, any and all of those even how busy we are sometimes is a status symbol. So we, literally live in a world that says we don't have any inherent value. The only value that you have is what you manifest on the outside. And that's simply not true. And when we go back to knowing who we are and knowing that we have choices in life, it changes everything because that's the moment. What not just the first step of that is becoming aware of that dynamic, but when we really feel that when we really embody that, we will never again negotiate our value with anyone. And that is the strength that is, I think, the opportunity, especially that women in midlife have. There's just a level of wisdom, a level of knowledge, like we know stuff. We are wise women. We've lived like 40, 50 years, 60 years. We know stuff and we stand in our power and we're not going to negotiate that with anyone anymore. And I just see it as my job to get my clients back to that point where they see themselves, where they reconnect with that essence of themselves within, because we already have everything we need. And so my job is to let my clients know that they really don't need me and just guide them and walk alongside them up to that point where they just Come home to themselves really is how I would word it.

Speaker 15:51

Oh, beautiful. Jenny. Oh my god I love what you said when we realized we never we should never negotiate our values

Jenny Calcoen 16:00

So

Speaker 16:02

powerful and we live a lifetime of where we're always making negotiations or compromise be it Raising a family or in our career path sometimes even making sacrifices or negotiating with friendships, relationships whether the romantic relationships or just friendships with acquaintances. Yeah, there's ways we were almost born into believing we can negotiate things away. We can give things away if that means balancing our environment. But then we

Jenny Calcoen 16:37

get to that tipping point. Yeah. And if we are lucky enough to, to age it's not, I know that a lot of people have a problem with aging, but I am grateful that I get to wake up another morning. If we get to this stage in life, I think, It's really important that we come back to that pure essence within ourselves, and that is what you don't negotiate you, you can, we live in a world that is constantly telling, especially women, and there's a version for men as well, but I'm talking about the version for women that says you are not enough, and it goes from your eyelashes are not enough. To the way your legs look or not enough to how much you weigh is not good enough and those may all be things that you look at, but my, my invitation is to look at them as not as. Am I valuable? Am I enough? But am I living in integrity with my values? If I want a healthy body, this is what that looks like to me. If I want to live a healthy life, this is what that looks like to me. Don't be dictated to by this external world who that doesn't necessarily have your wellbeing, at, at all. At heart, right? That doesn't have your well being in mind, I should say. Only you know what is right for you. And so I invite my clients to create a life, especially when they go through a big transition, to create a life that is in alignment with their own values. And yes, I can lead them through. Certain steps that have to do with not just becoming aware of these dynamics, but also creating moments of pause in their lives so that they actually have time to choose how they respond rather than react out of habit to situations. So there's different things that we can do, but ultimately where you get to is. This is my life. This is my essence. And I'm not going to negotiate that with anybody. That's amazing.

Speaker 18:55

That inner knowing piece, like you said, be the bill, the ability to stop and recognize how we can react in a situation. And I, in my personal experience, very reactive when I was younger, ready to just respond to the first emotion that came up for the first thought. And I hung on that. And I let that dictate how it was going to not only react, behave, but that behavior becomes habitual.

Jenny Calcoen 19:25

Yeah.

Speaker 19:26

Oh, but breaking down habits. Okay. There's inner knowing is one thing, but then there's that breaking down that habit so that, that old thought pattern doesn't take over and we can actually step into something on it. Grateful or more gracious way of living with grace and

Jenny Calcoen 19:44

how do you get them there though? I believe very much in in order to get rid of the darkness, you don't need to, not through, if you go through therapy, you might look at what that darkness consists of and how you got into that darkness. But to me, in the stages that I work with clients and I am not a therapist, I am looking at what is next. And so I am not looking at what got you here. Why is it so dark in here? Our job is really only to switch the light on, right? So it's really about what can you add into your life? Not that you have to discipline yourself or have judgmental self talk about, Oh, you forgot again and you reacted again. It's no, it's an observation. Oh, okay. I'm seeing, I did that thing again. Okay. Okay. How can I cultivate awareness around that? How can I have more moments where I'm not on autopilot, right? Autopilot is very useful when you're driving your car from A to B and you don't have to remember every single time, you automatically put your indicators on and know when to put your foot on the gas pedal and when to break. And luckily we can do that. pretty much on autopilot, but it's not a great thing when you do that for your life, when your life is on autopilot. And that is characterized by, Oh it's the 4th of July already. Oh, it's the end of summer. Oh, we're changing the clocks again. Oh, it's the end of the year. And time just seems to pass by. So what can we do on a day to day basis where we are more present to our own lives? Because this is it, right? We're not racing towards something. What are we racing towards something? It's really about being present. in as many moments as we possibly can. So how do we cultivate that?

Speaker 21:45

And so how do we cultivate that? But you did allude to some superpower strength that you do.

Jenny Calcoen 21:54

Can you share with us? I definitely use Mindfulness. I teach mindfulness and I also teach particular feminine presence practices because we are women and the way we connect with our bodies and the way we connect with the earth is different from, let's say, how people who identify as male connect. right to their center. So we go into that because that is the best way that I know that we have discovered to be present in every moment is to actually be in your body. And so that is, It seems very logical. It seems like it might be a really easy thing to do. And yet it isn't. How many times do we get lost in our thoughts? We're ruminating, we're catastrophizing. So that's a very important piece is to keep coming back to the body. And that's not always an easy thing. We spend a lot of time in our heads. And again, we live in a society that prioritizes. that is in love really with our minds and our brains and what we can do. And again, very useful, but to be present in this world, the best thing is to just come back into your body. And it can be as simple as taking literally a moment, And going, my feet are on the ground. My bum is in my seat where my hands, they might be in my lap. They might be alongside my body and simply taking a breath and feeling that and feeling how your entire body moves with your breath. Your body is moved by your breath. That's it. That's a moment of presence, right? So that is definitely one of the, one of the key things that, that I would say I teach. And now you work with

Speaker 23:52

both individuals and corporations. Yeah. Yeah. How do you integrate or work with a corporation to integrate these mindfulness practices in an environment that quite often can be very go, and there's less feminine energy and there's more of that masculine, get it done, constructive scheduled, very structured kind of environment.

Jenny Calcoen 24:17

Yeah. Very often. So what I'll first do when I speak with an organization is we'll literally go through, what is needed? What are you looking for? Are there any challenges or are, or very often organizations just really want to tick off a box as well. Oh, we just need to offer something to say that we've offered it. And that's fine. I'm happy with that too. And then I'll look at what interventions I can offer and in turn. In terms of, for example, mindfulness interventions. The research is there it's whether you look at, the impact on the bottom line when you look at the impact on retention, the impact on team dynamics and communication. It's all there. We have a lot of research about what mindfulness can do in teams and in organizations. So that's a relatively easy yeah, I call it an intervention that organizations will happily start with. And I will do anything that is needed, right? If they say we can invite people four weeks in a row, half an hour, at lunchtime, and we'll open it up to whoever wants to sign up. Okay, fine. We can do that. If you want to do something more in depth, that is, let's say eight weeks and you're paying people to come to this mindfulness class two hours a week, I can certainly do that too, right? It really depends what organizations want, but it's, the research is already there. There's no convincing really to do anymore. Yeah, so that is the easiest intervention. And so for me, having come out of 26 years of corporate, I quite like to know that I'm ticking all the corporate boxes, but really What is happening is that this makes a difference in an individual's life, right? It's not just that they might be more efficient at work, but this is something that they have in their lives. Now, they have a new tool in their toolkit and it can help them at home. It can help. Them and in their own lives every day. So I'm happy to do that anytime.

Speaker 26:27

When you work with corporations, is that where you find a lot of your one on one clients is when you've stepped into a corporation to work with them. And a lot of the women might come to you on the side and say, Hey, can I work with you some more?

Jenny Calcoen 26:39

Yes but not necessarily, that's not the only way that my one-on-one clients come to me, so they come to me mostly by referral or word of mouth. So I'm, very lucky that way.

Speaker 26:51

And I would imagine by the time they have found you, there's no resistance to do the work. They've obviously at, as the saying goes, when the student is ready, the teacher will come. they obviously are ready to make this transformation.

Jenny Calcoen 27:03

Of course, I speak to women who are ready and women who aren't right. And so I'm always happy to have a conversation just to see, where somebody is, because sometimes it's just about me telling them about a resource and they might not necessarily be ready to work with Somebody, I never work with somebody one on one less than six months, so they might not be ready for that. They might choose to go into therapy first, which, of course, is a completely different modality. I also work with women who are going. to therapy and want to work with me. So it's important that I know about that and that I can let their therapist know, this is what we're going to do just to make sure that everybody is on the same page. So yeah.

Speaker 27:54

I've heard it explained before that the therapist does that, that deep healing work by opening a Pandora's box, if you will, and going back into the root cause or unpacking some of the things that were never properly dealt with and helping. Unravel them so that there is a brighter, more healthy, but I've also heard that when you work with a coach alongside a therapist, the coach does more of the cheerleader in the corner, just bringing you on the whole way. And then just a little extra nudge, not just Hey, remember this now. Whereas sometimes the therapy board can be quite heavy. The coaching can be quite. Explorative and fitting in that regard, I

Jenny Calcoen 28:37

would find. Am I right on that? Yeah, I think so. I like to see myself as a guide on the side. And I have the privilege of being there for moments when people find themselves again. That's really a privilege to be around that. And I'm always guided by what my clients need. And I know for sure that what they need is a safe place, a nonjudgmental space. I know that when I've gone through big transitions, I've had loving and caring people around me, friends. And they've had advice for me or resources for me, and it wasn't always helpful. And sometimes it was just more overwhelming. And it might cause me to then edit myself when I spoke to that person, because I didn't necessarily want to hear, their opinion or so. I know that's what I provide for my clients. It's just that. neutral. And in fact, I'm not just a neutral space. Like I'm in your corner. We're only going to do what you feel is good for you. We're going to experiment with new ways of being only when you are okay with it. And so of course I encourage people to be slightly outside of their comfort zone. It's not my job to throw them off a cliff and say let's just see how you do right. That is not that is not how I work, if we push a little bit on that edge of the comfort zone, it's let's just see what happens when we do that. So that's how I see myself more like a gentle nudge. I'm your, definitely your fan in your corner. And we will go at your pace. And they're still in control and driving the ship. Yes. Yes. They're driving

Speaker 30:28

the bus. They're in charge. So in your website, I love that you talk about cultivating a magnetic presence. What does that mean to build to cultivate a magnetic presence and how does that help your clients help women, both in their personal and professional life.

Jenny Calcoen 30:48

So I think presence is like, it's such a big topic, but I will say, we all know when we walk into a room, whether we're walking in with 100 percent confidence and knowing that we are allowed to take up space and we are allowed to speak and we are allowed to be there versus nobody else's. Okay. walking into a room and thinking, gosh, I hope nobody looks at me because I'm wearing this thing that I don't feel comfortable in and whatever the circumstances might be. So we know that difference, right? And so that is what I call magnetic presence. So what is the role of magnetic presence in your life? It's you can see how that influences People around you, right? It influences how visible you are or how invisible you are. And so it's okay to turn that on and off, but women have a tendency to turn our we turn our presence off a lot. Or want to tone it down, not to draw any attention to ourselves. Yeah, that's right. Mostly because we've learned that drawing attention and being visible is not safe and whatever that means, our definition of safe, whether it's psychologically or literally physically safe. So there's many dimensions to it. But so this is how I. Teach about magnetic presence. It's like how can it work for you? Because how do, how people experience you is based on your presence, right? So you all know if you're in line in the supermarket or at the bank or wherever you can feel when somebody is too close to you when they're in your space, right? So this is how we experience ourselves. Like, where is my own space? Where is, Somebody else's space and how can I use that to my advantage, right? How can I use that when I need it, when I need it most? How can I, and so it's fun to play with that very often. It's the first time that women become aware of it. Like we do little, little practices and they get to play with it and they get to go out for a week and play with Oh how big is my presence? Is it out here, like right alongside my body or like, where do I find my energy feel like? Is it maybe, at arm's length? So these are just things that again, we do to cultivate awareness because once you become aware of something, you have choices. And we're all about choices.

Speaker 33:29

Oh, good. Definitely. We hear it all the time. The law of attraction, like attracts, like magnetic energy. When you expand at a higher vibration, you start vibrating at the same frequency as those who are like minded. You start vibrating at a frequency that brings abundance, whether it's wealth, happiness, love, financial abundance. And so is this sort of that little work, the work or the The challenges you give your clients to see if that's working for them. And when they come back and report, are you hearing some amazing

Jenny Calcoen 34:05

success stories? Yes, definitely. And not to, it's never one thing, but you can imagine. What being present in your own life, what consequences that has, whether, whether you go into an office or you have a business or you're negotiating something or just even with your children or with your family presence is such a key. A key factor in all of that. Like I, I don't know if you've ever had the experience, but I certainly have. I know that I have a look that when I give someone the look, I know they're not going to approach me. Like it's my look of I'm just not in the mood. It's like usually on an airplane. If I'm sitting next to a stranger, it's I might have a, I might have a look and a presence about me that says, I'm just not in the mood to speak. To talk and usually people pick up on that and if they don't, I will happily say I'm, I'm just gonna try and read my book, that's what I'm going to do on this flight. So there's little examples like that people will literally come back and say, Oh my God, you'll never believe what happened. Like I was experimenting with my presence and I was imagining this person was standing too close to me and all of a sudden they backed up and it's fun. It's, and so how can that be a tool in your toolbox, right?

Speaker 35:33

Yes. And on the flip side, have you had someone come back and say, I was experimenting with attracting somebody closer to me in my presence and see if they're picking up on me? Have you had anyone share an extra?

Jenny Calcoen 35:47

I've had people talk about being on stages or Also by getting promotions, which they felt was really about holding themselves in inside their sort of energy bubble and not ceding space and not, taking up space and not going along with Oh, now I'm supposed to say something because I'm supposed to fill up empty space because nobody's talking. And when you feel confident within your own personal space, it literally affects how you speak, right? And how people are attracted to you. So I literally have had clients tell me about getting promotions because they felt like they were really present with themselves and they didn't feel the need to. Impress someone or keep on talking nervously. And I've had people talk about being on stage and using these practices. And having more people or less people, depending on how they were feeling, come up to them afterwards and ask them about things. I've had that experience myself. So yeah, it's very powerful. Yes.

Speaker 37:00

I'm I want to go back to one of the things that you said, because I find that quite fascinating, particularly when it relates to the energy work and the feminine and the masculine. And when you said one of the practices you teach and coach is to embody the feminine side. And that can conjure up all kinds of ideas for the listeners, but what are some of the techniques? What would be one to just really embody feminism? To a way that helps us will cultivate that awareness in that magnetic.

Jenny Calcoen 37:34

I think what is a key practice for people who identify as female is to connect with your womb space. And it's not about that organ, right? It's, you can call it the, the Dantian point, which is two inches below your navel. But it's really important for women to connect to that space because that is also our connection to the earth, right? To mother earth or how, whatever you call it. It's that grounded presence. It's, you don't need to You don't really need anything else when you're grounded. And so that is definitely a technique that I teach that is foundational to women is to connect with womb space to come out of our heads, descend into our womb space and connect to earth. And you can do that to, to music. You can do that. Rhythmically move your body along with music, like drum music, for example, is very grounding. So these are things that we get into, as we go, as my clients go along the journey. And it's really all about what they're comfortable with. If this is not something they're comfortable with, we will talk about it in different ways, but generally this is a technique that I teach.

Speaker 38:59

That's beautiful. I'm grinning from ear to ear. The listeners can see me. I'm so elated with what you have to say because it just further endorses a method of yoga that I love to teach, and I did my teacher training in it, and it's primal flow, and it is all about tapping into the feminine and the masculine, and the feminine, the light, the nurturing, the airy, the dancey, the flowy, but balancing it out With the masculine side, which does want to be more firmly rooted on the earth and stomping or drumming and we do that, there's one pinnacle point in the yoga session, it could be 60 minutes, 45, 75 minutes. But when we get to that pinnacle moment, where are you? I invite them just to let loose and they can't debate it because it's yoga class. They can come back later on and discuss it with me. But when I'm there, I'm just like, are you feeling light and flowy and feminine? Or do you want to stomp and ground and feel grounded? And I. Just I get silly on the mat. And I think that invites them to be too. And I find that yoga is just one of those, like dance or any other movement of the body allows us to let go of any inhibitions and judgment to be present, as you say. But I like the fact that we talked about that because in order to feel or to nurture that feminine side. Got to work on that masculine side to let the feminine out.

Jenny Calcoen 40:34

It's all about the balance. It's not about one thing is better than the other one way, or this isn't about we're against men or against the masculine. The point is that we all need to find that balance within ourselves. And it's just the access point is different maybe for people who identify as male or people who identify as female. So it's. It's what I think we're all trying to do the same thing. It's just that I choose to work with women in a particular way. And if I was working with men, I would probably do it in a slightly different way, but we would still be in a way doing the same work. And I know amazing men, colleagues and friends who are doing this work with men. And it's really beautiful to, to observe and to know that. That we are all out there trying to do the best that we can really that's. That's the best that we can do, right? Is every day, do you feel like you're doing the best that you can? And when there are days that you feel like maybe this wasn't a skillful day, that's okay. We can look at it. We can learn from it and we can just try to do better. Yeah.

Speaker 41:46

And I bet your gratitude plays a role in there too,

Jenny Calcoen 41:48

no

Speaker 41:49

matter what we've achieved, it's just, I'm still grateful. I'm still absolutely. Yeah. And then there's always tomorrow, but you're right. I'm glad you touched on that. The balance that those two energy centers exist within everybody. And it's certain degree, and it's not necessarily male female. It's, the yin, the yang, as we hear yoga, the dark, the light the hot, the cool. Yes. Yes. This has been delightful, but I always like to ask my guests, what book are they reading or what book is your favorite? Would you recommend? And what does that say about you?

Jenny Calcoen 42:25

Since we are talking about all things menopausal in the last month, this book has come out called the new menopause. Dr. Mary Claire Haver. Yes, that's right. And so a friend told me about the book. I read it. I was just so impressed with it. It has all the latest research. It has all the discussion points that you might need to speak with your doctor. It has all the different Options for you, whether you choose to go down the road of hormone therapy or whether that's even a choice for you, but your particular health history or not. It's just such a comprehensive book. It's so filled with good information that literally for the last month, I have been telling every woman I know about it. I feel like every woman, let's say 35 and over should read the book. Yeah. Yeah and also just to reemphasize that menopause is not like this big dark hole where horrible things happen. It's really just a, an a different type of awakening. And so I think it's really useful for women, let's say 35 and older who, who have this. this journey that is still coming to them. And so it's really, I think, helpful to be informed about things to maybe start looking out for. Because I certainly discovered that even though physically and identifiably I started perimenopause a couple of years ago, it was probably a few more years than that. I just didn't know Exactly the different symptoms that could come up or different things that could start happening many years before you actually, get to that stage. Yes, that's the book, the New Menopause by Mary Claire Aver.

Speaker 44:23

I'm glad you mentioned that. I have just been pushing that book so hard, sharing that with the clients that I work with. Yeah. Taking excerpts outta the book and I said, look, it, it breaks down every symptom and they have options.

Jenny Calcoen 44:40

You can't see it, but I literally have a gazillion post its in, in the physical books.

Speaker 44:45

Yeah. That book is causing its own earthquake. Let me tell you. And I love it is, it truly is an awakening. And the coaches are there like yourself, Jenny, to help people awaken, to open their eyes, step into the power, to use some of the terminology you used earlier on tapping into that. inner knowing and know that we have a choice. We think we know it up here in our head. Okay, I know what I need to do. And now I've read the book or have the book. It's that cheerleader, that guy that's That individual in your corner saying, okay, let's, you've got, let's go and do it. And so on that note, a couple of things, what is what you've talked about a lot, but what would be one thing that our listeners could take away from you right now in this moment, if they just wanted one tiny piece of information, just to get them out of whatever emotional upheaval earthquake they might be feeling in the moment.

Jenny Calcoen 45:42

I would say. Simply trust yourself through no fault of our own. We sometimes lose that connection and really it's all about trusting yourself. You don't need to take everybody's advice do things that just don't feel comfortable, trust yourself. You already know everything you need. It's already there. Just trust yourself. That's so

Speaker 46:10

beautiful. Can our listeners find you in case they need you and they're in their corner to root them on.

Jenny Calcoen 46:19

Yeah. You can find me on my website, which is my name, Jenny calcone. com or on LinkedIn as well. You can send me a message and I'm always happy to have a conversation,

Speaker 46:31

Denny Calhoun, It has been a delight to have you on the show. I am excited to share your story with our listeners. great episode.

Mary Lee 46:45

Thank you for tuning in to another insightful episode of All Things Menopausal. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to stay connected, be sure to follow me on Instagram for daily tips and updates. For even more support and community, Join our Facebook group, Personal and Universal, where we share experiences, advice, and empower each other through the transformative journey. And if you found value in today's episode, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps reach more women who can benefit from these conversations. until next time, stay empowered, stay informed and embrace the beauty of your menopausal journey. Remember midlife should be the best life and it will be. Namaste.